Satire Essay

Topics: Petroleum, Automobile, Hydrocarbon Pages: 2 (664 words) Published: January 22, 2015
Satire Essay
By: Ethan Pham

Cars are a fantastic invention. They make our lives more carefree by getting us from place to place quickly while abolishing the need for legs altogether. Instead of walking that 3 blocks to McDonalds, why not drive there? You get there faster and you can eat sooner. Driving has a lot of benefits. But driving also takes a lot of fuel, and everyone knows that fuel for cars isn’t the cheapest of resources.

The gasoline that keeps your car running is supplied by petroleum. Petroleum is pumped out of the ground. Petroleum is made by the transformation of long dead plants and marine animal fossils. These fossils are under a lot of pressure and heat for hundreds on thousands of years, and in result is a dark substance known as Kerogen. These Kerogen molecules then eventually break down into petroleum or natural gas and are pumped into your gas tanks. That is right; your car is running on a limited supply of dead plants and dead fish souls.

So now lets flip the script. Remember that guy you stepped over on the way to work in the morning? Remember the smell of his body that lightly brushed over your nostrils as you carefully avoided him. That man is a part of an incredibly high population of homeless people in America. The amount of homeless people is roughly estimated to 2.3 million to 3.5 million people. That approximately 1 in 10 people living on the streets with no job, no car, and no responsibilities. If only there was away to supply the country with cheaper and more plentiful alternative to gasoline that is so very needed. If only we had camps that housed the homeless in return for nothing but physical labor.

Homeless people are full of natural oils. The absence of showers and bathing ensures us that the homeless will not be ridding themselves of their daily odors. What plaques teenagers with acne can power cars and trucks? If only we could store the oils the homeless are probably bathing in. How do we...
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